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When asked how things were going with new beau Theo Von, she got a little sheepish — but not too sheepish to dish on his manhood.

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The two were rumored to have been dating on That 70’s Show. In the rabbit hole of Valderrama’s dating history, I discovered that — on an episode of Cribs — he bragged about a bedroom where “the magic happens,” displayed a bedroom with only a mattress on it, had red solo cups in his china cabinet, and — perhaps most troubling — he proudly wears Drakkar Noir cologne.

Demi Lovato, who Valderrama has been dating since she turned 18 (he was 30). He calls her his “fucking soul mate.” Minka Kelly, who Valderrama dated while he was on a break with his “fucking soul mate.” That’s who he has dated, but the question remains: Why? “Drakkar reminds me of me, and I love me.” He seems kind of gross, no?

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